The concert (last week; goddamn have I been busy) was deliciously awesome, even though PJ Harvey had to cancel – she apparently got stuck in Canada or something? Perhaps she was on the “terrist list.” The Dresden Dolls, after about an hour setup time, came on stage and kicked ass; I’d never heard their music before, but now I’m a fan. I especially liked “The Port of Amsterdam,” which Amanda sung in her lovely low grumble, holding aloft a bottle of beer.
As for Sonic Youth…well, I’d been pretty hyped up for SY ever since I found out they were coming. A stream of young high schoolers departed after the Dolls were done. One older guy was saying to another, “God. I can’t believe people are leaving. It’s Sonic Youth!” The other guy shrugged and said, “That’s young people for you.” So I was little worried initially that SY wouldn’t get a good and proper audience in KC. They’re getting old, I know…but still, they can crank out records from their retirement homes and I will still listen. They are just that cool.
My fears that they would not draw a good showing were unfounded. As soon as the dumb high schoolers left, the boy and I were shoved forward by the sheer force of people trying to shove themselves forward. A girl in front of us, who kinda reminded me of that girl Daisy from my Spanish class that I didn’t like, pulled me in front of her. “I always try to help the short people out, cause, you know, we need to see too!” Sweet. She was really nice, and had great musical taste to boot.
I started biting my fingers while waiting for them to come on stage; if they were going to take as long as the Dolls did to set up, riots would be definitely in order. Being penned in by bodies on every possible side didn’t help. I couldn’t breathe and other people were getting pissed. Daisy-clone asked for a lighter; I silently hoped that she wouldn’t set my hair on fire. Then I was shoved forward again. The thing about crowds that packed is that if people move, even if they’re wanting to leave, you end up being shoved forward because of the chaotic struggle of others to replace the empty space. Empty space is wasteful, you see. I admit I was guilty of this too. Even when we would end up in a spot in which my view was worse than before, I would still want to move forward at the earliest opportunity. Everyone did, including Bee Guy.
Bee Guy was a nasty, smelly middle aged man in a bee outfit. You might think that a bee costume would be more appropriate for a Blind Melon concert or something (though the guy is dead and the band are no more, I think). But Bee Guy had no taste or shame. He shoved on through, yelling “I HAVE A LARGE PENIS” to reaffirm his ego and scare off any ladies. What sucks is that you have to let that kind of guy through, if you’re a girl. Otherwise he starts trying to poke you with his stinger. Did I mention that he was smelly?
In addition to Bee Guy, there was Stupid Bitch (eh, she wasn’t really distinctive enough otherwise for a clever moniker). She was really obnoxious about trying to throw herself forward. People started just actively shoving her back and I would stick out my elbows when she came my way. She started crowd surfing to the front early during SY’s set, got kicked out by the security guard, and came back for more. At one point Thurston mentioned seeing one dude rampaging around the entire crowd; she had short hair, so I think he might have been talking about her. Ha, bitch; you look like a rampage-y man. She stepped on my nice ballet shoes too! She got so bad that the boy asked if he could take her out. Worried that he would get in trouble with Stupid Bitch’s friends, and secretly hoping for her to get owned, I said okay. While she was busy stomping on my shoes and swaying around like a dumbass, the boy grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her back into the crowd. Score one for us!
In spite of all this…there was Sonic Youth. Steve Shelley, Lee, Kim and Thurston walked on, looking a little older maybe than when I first discovered them (right around the time “Dirty” was released). Well, actually, only Lee and Kim really looked that much older. Thurston could still pass for an eighteen year old; it’s kind of bizarre to see Thurston and Kim together. Though I do think that Kim Gordon is still pretty hot for a 50 yr. old, and regardless, she still has that amazing growl. Rock on, baby! Anyhow, they’re not sore about their age; Thurston walked on and asked the audience “hey, is anyone taping ‘Desperate Housewives’?” Musically, though, they definitely showed no signs that they were losing their edge. Lee and Thurston are still the gods of feedback – as evinced by a twenty-five minute long feedback session as an encore. Hehe. That sure weeded out the non-hardcore SY “fans,” if they can call themselves that!
The best part happened in the first half of the set. The music was set to 5,000 decibels too loud for our ears; the roar of the music more something physically felt than a noise that could be heard. Pot smoke clouded the air (the nice girl was using me as a shield so she wouldn’t get caught by the security guards), giving the scene a nice tinge of unreality. Lee’s fingers battered his guitar; Kim jumped up and down in time to Steve Shelley’s steady drumming. Thurston stepped forward, on the edge of the stage – maybe three feet away from me. Then he stretched his arms out to the audience, offering himself to his fans, his guitar in one hand. Immediately everyone in that area started pushing forward to touch him. I almost decided against trying; I didn’t want to be crushed, there was no way I would reach – but suddenly I got pushed forward, and was an arm’s length away. So close! Somehow I managed to grab hold of his fingers, which were resting on the fretboard. I had enough time to think, hey, holy shit, this is Thurston Moore I am touching! before I got shoved back. I was in mild shock for the rest of the night.
Now, looking back and typing all that, it sounds kind of goofy, like Thurston was trying to be a Jesus-figure or something. I know it’s silly that I should turn into a ridiculous school girl because of a rock star, who’s just another human being after all. But by golly, I am a school girl, and I can be ridiculous when I damn well please. And holy sufferin’ succotash was that unbelievably, awesomely amazing. This is the guy that made me want to pick up the guitar! I could have absorbed some of his wicked guitar skills in that two seconds! Well, maybe not, but it’s possible, surely…
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