On campus today, the boy and I were walking back to my car, when we passed a man out walking his dog. It was a golden retriever, not quite adult-sized yet but still kind of big and happy looking, excited to be out and about in the biting cold. Far more excited than his owner and the two of us.
The words “Oh look at the cute little doggie” were hardly out of my mouth when the dog bounded straight for the boy and jumped on him, panting and wagging his tail. “Whoa there,” said the boy, doing a little impromptu dance with the big puppy dog as the owner, in vain, tugged on his leash. The strap of the boy’s messenger bag slid off his shoulder, and with a novice thief’s luck, the dog managed to wedge himself in between the strap and the boy’s chest, and somehow pulled the bag off and wrapped it around himself. The cheeky bastard, flush with victory, couldn’t stop there; he went after the coffee mug the boy was holding. The boy tried to liberate his bag from the dog while keeping aloft the mug in the other, as the owner tried to untangle the bouncing dog from the bag and strap and leash. I, ever helpful, stood there laughing my ass off, a safe distance away from the doggy fiasco.
After the boy extricated the bag and the owner tugged his hyperactive puppy away, we talked about how a dog like that would be a great pet for a mugger. I mean, everyone is always wary of the shady-looking guy walking along with his hat covering his eyes, but who suspects someone out walking her cute little doggie? Bonus points if you somehow train a Shih-Tzu or Chihuahua into being a klepto-machine. The only problem is, you’d have to then train it not to hide the ill-gotten gains from you.
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