Internet, say hello to Hildegard:

If I knew how to embed an angelic chorus into this post, I’d do it.

So shiny, so powerful! (The photo quality is crappy, possibly because Hildegard blinded the lens with its bright beacon of light). This is probably the best computer I’ve owned, and paid with my hard-earned money (hey, it’s pretty tough to keep up with all the celebrity gossip that comes out every day! But somebody’s gotta do it). And I got an extra hundred dollars off by simply doing a Google search for ‘Dell Coupons.’ Life, at least in the technology sector, is good.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had much time to fiddle around with it yet, as I’ve been occupied helping friends move / entertaining house guests. I’ve now had experience moving during the hottest part of the year and the coldest, and I must say that I rather prefer moving during the blasting heat. Yes, it can get awfully sweaty and icky in the scorching August, but then again, you won’t find yourself having to move a futon down a rickety staircase encased in ice. Unless you live on some godforsaken tundra.

In which case, you won’t go far without these:

The author of this post is unaffiliated with the Yak Trax company and has not been paid to endorse this product. Though, she wouldn’t refuse a sponsor on principle or anything.

They were introduced to me by Nina, who demonstrated their workings for us after dinner a week ago. They transform your shoes from treadless skates of doom, into furious ice-crushing snow plows. One pair of yak trax is the equivalent of a team of rescue huskies, or possibly a helicopter. After Louise and I tried ours out the first time, we remarked: “this must be what people feel like when they test-drive their new Hummer.”

King of the world, overlord of the ice. No more shall I fall ignominiously on my buttocks, engage in unintentional pratfalls, or execute quadruple axels with sub-Olympic quality landings. Armed with the gripply, serrated feet of the mighty yak, grace and balance shall prevail!