Me: Geometrical Anthropology, how may I help you?

Girl: Hi…I’m writing a story for the Kansan…and, I was just wondering…is there, like, anything new or exciting going on in your department?

Me: That’s a pretty broad question. Anything a little more specific that you want to publish in a newspaper?

Girl: Um…well, I just want to know if there’s anything new or exciting. Like, are there any professors or grad students publishing any books or writing stuff. Or, you know, doing research.

Me: Well, they’re always doing research. We generally post book announcements for our faculty on our website, which you can check out…

Girl: Anyone doing any research on global warming? Like, anything about polar bears?

Me: Polar bears?

Girl: Yeah, like, I dunno, how they’re all getting killed off by global warming.

Me: Um, I don’t think anyone’s doing polar bear research here. Let me refer you to another department.