bad metaphor

Some changes to my content-neglected blog:

- I’ve been tweaking the template a smidge to make it look more slick and Web 2.0-y. We’ll see how long it takes before I get tired of this one, too. Since I’m taking a web design and programming class right now, I’ll probably be even MORE inclined to dick around with the presentation than I usually am. Be prepared for flash intros and banners with monkey strippers leaping out of 20-tiered cakes, on FIRE.

- I have actual stuff in my etsy shop now! Head on over to karenology.etsy.com to take a look. Thus far, I have…octopuses. Eight of them, to be exact, selling for $8.88 because I have a cheesy sense of humor. (I realize the difficulty of selling something for which I have posted a free pattern, but I figure non-knitters and lazy sea-creature aficionados might be interested. Plus, I’ve gotten rather good at popping these bad boys out).

What I’ve mainly been preoccupied with these days is the matter of fixing up my clown-car apartment so that it is habitable (for me, E, and the flea-bag), and budgeting for Europe! E and I are going with our friend Andy, who has more or less taken over trip-planning. Our travel itinerary spiraled from simply spending some time visiting Louise for her wedding, to undertaking an epic road trip through northern Europe. Currently we are set on driving from Brussels, Belgium, through Germany, Denmark, and ultimately, a tiny town in Sweden called Kristianstad, from whence Andy traces his ancestry.

Yes, I’m a little concerned about my pocketbook, but I have a feeling that the trip will be a blast, and ultimately worth it. What am I saving money for anyways? Paying off those student loans? Pfft.

For some reason it just occurred to me that I’d completely forgotten to share, with all of you (three) on the Internets, the tale of the potentially calamitous, yet ultimately successful, canoe adventure that took place last weekend. Indeed, it seemed as though Murphy himself was presiding over the events of the day, following us with a clipboard and checking off a list full of potential pitfalls.

As I mentioned before, I spent the last odd month or so house-sitting with Andy and Elijah. Initially, when prowling the premises of the house, Andy had discovered a sizeable canoe mounted on the side of his barn. The idea of a canoe trip was bandied about, and pushed aside in favor of other things (such as apartment-shopping, trivia and drinking). Since the end of the house sitting adventure was drawing nigh, we decided to make our last weekend productive.

Things started to go awry almost immediately. We planned on conveying the canoe via Krissy’s trusty Bronco, she being the only one of our friends who owns a large vehicle. The keys were not readily found, and after three or four sweeping searchings (and just before calling off the entire trip), she finally located them and hurried to meet us at the house.

Now, we hadn’t done much in the way of preparation for this trip, other than to hit up Krissy for the use of her truck. So it was that the boys found themselves prying at the canoe, which happened to be locked and bolted to the side of the barn. The professor has a collection of about a hundred odd keys, all of which were tried – and none of which fit the lock that would free our canoe!

Dispirited at the prospect of having gotten up early for no reason, most of us considered the trip canceled. Except for Andy, who, once an idea gets lodged in that determined head of his, will NOT give up. He began calling outdoor equipment rental places and getting price quotes. Another stipulation we had to work with – Krissy needed to get back into town to work at three, and time was ticking. Never mind that the reason we wanted to canoe in the first place was bolted to the barn door – we would, oh we would canoe that day.

We eventually found a reasonable canoe rental price, packed into Krissy’s Bronco, and headed out. We were in luck – a canoe was indeed available, and it shone brightly like the halo of a silver angel (or, more accurately, like a giant hunk of aluminum scorching for hours in the summer sun). As we were in the process of booking, the rental guy mentioned that we would need to buy a good length rope so that we could tie the canoe to the car. Unfortunately, he did not have any rope; he pointed out a nearby hardware store.

Annoyed at this even further delay, Krissy and I left the guys at the rental store and drove to get some rope. Got the rope and as we pulled out of the hardware store parking lot, noted a guy outside shouting at us: “Hey! You have a flat!”

“What?! I do not..” yelled Krissy, quite indignantly I might add, and then we got out and investigated. Indeed the Bronco had a flat, and boy did it ever – the rims were touching the ground.

So there was swearing involved, I won’t lie – by this point the temperature had scraped the upper 90′s, clawing its way to the 100′s – and Krissy discovered that the jack to the Bronco was nowhere to be found. We were standing around, looking like helpless females, when a Good Samaritan who was doing construction work nearby came over to help us. Relieved, we watched with bated breath as he attempted to use his own car jack on the Bronco – and then, with dismay, as the weight of the Bronco smashed the Good Samaritan’s jack into the pavement. By this point, the guys had walked over from the rental store, and now there were five goofy slack-jawed jerk college-age kids, standing around with our thumbs in our pockets, as this helpful man labored in the burning sun to fix our tire.

At this point in the day, some of us were starting to murmur that the higher powers did not approve of our canoing, and that perhaps we shouldn’t tempt fate any further. We naysayers, however, were no match for the will of Andy. No, not even the potential wrath of God would deter Andy from making this canoe trip happen. We still had just enough time, if we got the tire situation sorted out, to get a good hour and a half on the lake. And by gum, we were gonna do it.

Eventually we were able to borrow a scissorjack from the neighboring auto mechanic (now that I think about it, I wonder if the hardware store and the mechanic were running some sort of racket? Were the hardware people intentionally peppering their parking lot with nails, then referring people across the street to fix their tires? I guess that would be an unkind assumption, as we didn’t end up getting charged for anything). Spare tire affixed, and Good Samaritan reimbursed for his services (which we really had to foist upon him, as he wasn’t going to take anything, ruined jack notwithstanding), we headed back to the rental place, sans nails.

So what if, once we got the canoe strapped on, the front of it may have obscured part of the windshield? So what if we were trying to fit 750 lbs worth of people (plus 50 odd lbs of alcohol) in a canoe designed to carry 600? Sure, the boat sunk a little low in the water, and at one point we did have to use empty bottles to scoop out the excess water from the interior. We still had a grand old time, lolling about in the lake and getting parboiled to gently rosy hues (in my case) and red lobster shades (the unfortunate Krissy and Andy; I sure pity you pale people in the summer!). In the end, I must admit that Andy was right to (force us to) persevere.

Yeah, I’m in yet another “too lazy to post frequently” downswing. Sensing a template change in the imminent future…

1) My new apartment is small. Tiny, in fact. It was listed as a 1 bedroom, but ‘studio’ would be more accurate, as the “bedroom” is exactly that – a bed in a room! It’s quite comfortable for one, but now that E’s string of housesitting gigs appears to be approaching its end, he will be crashing with me (at least until after we get back from Europe). Creative shelving and organization will make the difference here. Pictures coming soon.

2) No Internet at the new place. E discovered that he can pick up signals from the nearest wifi network in one spot only, which happens to be right above the toaster oven. Toasternet isn’t the speediest ISP, but it’s serviceable and will get us through until I can get cable service. We just have to remember not to toast bread while surfing the web.

3) My favorite janitor at work was reassigned to a new building. Work will just not be the same anymore Another indication that I really need to take steps towards leaving Lawrence.

4) I’m taking a web programming class. Unfortunately, I’ll miss five class periods while in Europe, and I come back right before the first midterm (E and our friend Andy aren’t coming back until afterwards, so they’ll just have to take a zero, I assume). As luck would have it, however, the first midterm should only cover html and css. Sweet! With the amount of template changes I’ve done, I could probably do this in my sleep.

5) My mother has moved again. This time, to Houston, TX, and my sister was the lucky sibling who got to escort her the entire way this time! (My brother-in-law also came along for the trip, I believe to make sure that they did not drive off the road due to my mom’s mad wicked driving skills. He is a saint.). Here’s an anecdote from my sister, revealing just how well my mother knows me:

They were touring Houston, walking through “The Galeria,” a chain of upscale malls full of glitzy boutiques and such. Starry-eyed from all the blinky lights, no doubt, my mother turned to my sister and said: “I think karenology would like this place a lot. There are a lot of fancy designer brands here.”

This, about a girl who spent a few hours trying to knit and lace up a steering wheel cover, rather than buy one! Maybe my mamma and I are going to need to sit down and do a good catch up talk. Whenever we hang out, I usually pretend to enjoy the things she does, just to humor her; perhaps this is why I end up giving away or returning presents she tries to give me (especially clothes. Oh god, the suede and sequined horrors).

That’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll think of something clever to write about in the next few days.

6:35 a.m. – wake to the sounds of cat bleating for affection.

6:37 a.m. – throw pillow at cat, miss, and in the process, fall back asleep.

8:00 a.m. – “wake” again, reset cell phone alarm.

8:10 a.m. – third time’s a charm, wake up for real this time. Blearily stumble towards shower. Notice, once fully in the shower, the lack of curtains obscuring the window. Due to fatigue, fail to care about being naked in front of the neighbors and passers-by who have full view of the window.

8:11 a.m. – enjoy a shower with actual water pressure! Makes up for the many other shortcomings of the apartment.

8:20 a.m. – navigate around half opened boxes and nagging cat to get to clothes. Throw clothes on.

8:35 a.m. – throw a granola bar in the purse and make a hasty exit, in case anyone on the street witnessed the shower spectacle.

8:45 a.m. – actually arrive early to work for once! Take advantage of this fact and stop by Ukrainian coffee bar in neighboring campus building.

8:49 a.m. – wonder what happened to the Ukrainian babooshkas who usually run the coffee bar with an iron fist (and loudly blaring polka music). Obtain coffee from normal Midwestern girl.

8:51 a.m. – note that the coffee doesn’t seem to taste as good. Distinctly lacking babooshka charm.