Once again, Lisa fucked up badly, but benefited from someone else screwing up even more. Not only that, but she further justified audience hatred by petulantly whining to the two (real) top chefs: “I know you’re sad Antonia is going home but the least you could have done was congratulate me.” YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE, LISA. But, like Richard said, congratulations on your fucking bronze medal! (bleeped by the Gladware network, of course).
The caliber of the two other chefs, Richard and Stephanie, is so much ridiculously higher in comparison that they should have no problems beating her. But dammit, someone who has been in the bottom for the last six straight challenges should not be in the final three. And I now have the fear that Lisa’s insanely good luck will somehow carry her to the title of Top Chef. Like maybe Stephanie slips on a banana peel and breaks a leg, dropping her main course on the floor in the process. Or Richard’s fauxhawk catches on fire.
It did warm my heart to see Dale back, working with Stephanie, and then my warmed heart sank when Dale screwed up and left the main dish out of the cooler all night (pork, definitely something you never ever chance!). This error would have sunk a lesser chef, but Stephanie, with the help of Dale (who felt really awful), pulled it off and made some of the stronger dishes of the night. Go Stephanie!
When I came into work this Monday, I noticed that the stairs by my office were taped off, with bright red police tape instead of the usual “Caution: Wet Floor Signs.” Thought nothing of it, until one of the janitors mentioned that the fire marshall was in the building, telling people to stay off those stairs. Apparently there is some structural damage and they’re going to work on it over the summer. Sure, okay, whatever.
The next morning I noticed, in addition to the red tape, obnoxious pink flyers placed on the steps, admonishing potential stair goers. “By order of the Fire Marshall, access to these stairs are forbidden until further notice.” Maybe somebody was too lazy to walk over to the other stairwell, and ducked under the tape?
By yesterday morning, they had zip-tied a huge plywood beam across the entrance to the stairs and put more pink flyers down. That’s when I thought it started to get a bit ridiculous.
This morning when I passed it, there were yet even more pink flyers taped to the beam. I am not sure this is good for the structural integrity of the stairs. How many more mountains of flyers and wooden beams can it take before it collapses? I know they are concerned about our safety, but I can’t help but feel that they are insulting our observational abilities. Who knows, maybe they really need all this to prevent the more absent-minded math professors from walking up to their doom.
I’ll update tomorrow if I see a bouncer in a loud pink uniform stationed in front of the stairs.