bad metaphor

- Half-written thank you notes
- Birthday cards
- Old homework assignments and notes from college (in case I need justification for an allegorical relationship between obesity and Southern race relations in “Light in August” handy)
- Unopened utility bills (accessed and paid entirely online)
- Stack of New Yorker issues that I will totally get around to reading one of these days
- Corpses of aborted art projects
- Ticket stubs to movies I don’t recall seeing
- Inkless pens
- Leadless pencils
- Mystery objects that someday may prove absolutely vital to the functioning of something else (“if only I hadn’t thrown away that peculiarly shaped doodad!”)
- $23.07 in pennies
- Out-of-tune guitar
- Diploma

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