bad metaphor

Last week we decided to start rotating the reins for deciding potluck themes, and when we gave it over to our friend Jay, he went absolutely nuts with it: “Watermelon!” But wait, watermelon is definitely not in season. “No no, I meant metaphorical watermelon. Your dish can be visually like a watermelon, green on the outside and red on the inside. Or it could be symbolically green (ecological / organic) and red (communist).” I loved the idea, even though I still don’t understand what communist food is supposed to be like. Dreadful? Government-issued rations? Eastern bloc gray porridge? Though watermelon is not in season, beets are, and they are red with green leaves. Hence my dish, roasted beets with wilted greens.

Others have had a much harder time fitting the theme. There was much bitching and moaning, “watermelon WTF???!” – even though the guy who wrote that never cooks anything and brings beer every week anyways (maybe Chinese (red) beer in a green bottle? Tsingtao?) I personally love challenges that force people to think outside the box, and am less thrilled when people don’t try and bring whatever they were planning on bringing anyways.

While E was doing research for his dish, he came across the legend of vampire watermelons. And pumpkins, too. According to old Roma legend, watermelons and pumpkins left out overnight during a full moon can potentially turn into vampires. Post transformation, the vampire watermelons and pumpkins start to roll around and go “brr, brr, brr.” They cause some damage, but people aren’t terribly afraid of this vampire because really, what can a shivering pumpkin do besides smush your herbs?

He’s not really any closer to conceiving of a dish idea, but I want to start working on a new craft project: a self-propelled, rolling vampire melon! It could be a good cat toy or a garden patrol.

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