bad metaphor

I know the archives on this site only go back to 2004 and all, but I swear to you I have been blogging since 1995! That’s right bitches, I blogged waaaay back in the day, when computers were basically buildings filled with vacuum tubes.


Well, okay, I hadn’t technically blogged in the sense of the word “web log,” unless you count the spider webs coating the diary whenever I neglected it for long periods of fickleness.

But…look, my twelve year old self had clearly anticipated Livejournal moods! And flipping through the entries, it definitely reads more like a “blog” than a “super ultra top secret diary with a LOCK (the key to which I may have lost, on occasion),” in the sense that I had written with an audience in mind.

A helpful introduction to who I was as a person. Note the careful inscription of the exact date, and the whiting out of the pre-printed date on each page. I think maybe, deep down, I anticipated that Future Me wouldn’t have the foggiest idea of what was going on in the inner life of Past Me. Past Me was so thoughtful!

A typical entry. “Today is the perfect day to go outside and walk around. But it is even nicer to lay in bed and daydream about Rider Strong. He is, like, the cutest boy on T.V. He plays Shawn on ‘Boy Meets World.’” I wonder how many girls at that time wrote that exact same entry in their diaries? He was, like, sooo totally dreamy! Omg!

Another very typical entry. Hahaha!

I have no clue why my mother would borrow $14 from Past Me. But I like how Past Me, venal and selfish though she was, took the care to apologize to Sunny for not addressing her appropriately.

I let E flip through the diary, and when he got to this page he asked me who sung the song “Mr. Personality.” I admitted I had no idea, and neither of us could recall it. So I looked it up on YouTube and apparently it was a hit song from the intensely cringeable Gillette, who also sang the more woefully memorable “Short Dick Man.” Ear-bleedingly awful, and exactly the type of thing an angsty, wannabe edgy girl in the suburbs would listen to! Thankfully, my evil sister would introduce Past Me to better music (even if she bossed me with her college ways into listening to it ;) ).

Here’s the entry for the Oklahoma City bombing. Reading this makes me curious to see a collection of reactions to 9/11 from kids at the time. I was lucky enough to not experience the death of a close family member when I was young, so this was the most salient lesson of mortality for Past Me.

There’s a bit more, but it ends abruptly – probably because Past Me was too preoccupied with lolling around in bed, lazily dreaming of Rider Strong and Kurt Cobain and any other cute bad boy. There is something about blogging that makes it easier to keep a running log of my life, as I’ve kept with this for four years, whereas my diary entries didn’t even make it to 1996. But I do miss the quaint touch of having a lock, a key, and a glittery heart sticker on the front! Hmm, maybe the snail in the upper right could use some glam.

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