Kids these days
So my coworker who yammers about her kids all the time (no matter if it is appropriate to the subject or not), today talked about how she thought one of her tots had the flu. Her kids are always coming down with something or other every week, it seems. Now I know kids get sick a lot – who wouldn’t, if you were running around touching everything and then immediately putting your hands in your mouth – but I kind of suspect that she’s a bit of a hypochondriac herself, and this extends to spotting fictitious illnesses in the smaller versions of herself. I said, “oh, that’s too bad, swine flu?” half-jokingly, and she said, “I sure hope not. We’ll find out at the doctor later today!”
I went about my business, and then a few minutes later she came back to make some copies – with the aforementioned tot in tow. The copier happens to be located behind my desk. She set down the tot right next to my desk, and the tot immediately smiled and ran around my desk, being all cute – and infected! And of course my coworker needed to make a thousand copies, so they lingered for an hour (stupid slow old copier). And the kid, being a kid, had to touch everything she could get away with! At one point I ran away to the other room to make coffee, and I overheard the mother say: “no, sweetie, that’s karenology’s chapstick.” Augh.
I am a self-professed germophobe, though I don’t think I’m as bad as most germophobes. For instance, I did not immediately spray the tot and her environs with a sheen of Lysol (though I sorely wanted to). However, being preoccupied with commencement planning, end-of-year fiscal activity at work, moving houses, studying for the LSAT and preparing to embark on a trip to Asia this summer – I CANNOT GET THE FLU. I don’t care if it’s regular non-piggy flu; either way it sucks and I don’t want it. I even briefly thought about putting on my novelty swine flu mask, even though I know it doesn’t do jack against whatever evil pathogens may lurk in the lungs of kids – but I thought against it, as it might invite attention and more lingering from mother and child.
All the while, the kid was playing happily and seemed just fine – did not seem to exhibit any flu like symptoms, or anything beyond general cuteness. So maybe she just wanted to get out of school / daycare or whatever, and her hyper-illness sensitive mother just jumped to the conclusion that she might have flu. That is all well and fine in this instance, you can never be too cautious with the health of your kids.
But it would be really great if she’d be a bit more cautious with the health of other people. She even seemed slightly annoyed that I was consciously avoiding her daughter, who in my mind had transformed from “cute little girl” into “source of potential week of misery and productivity-ruining.” Hey, I might be a callous bitch and all. But if you’re going to go on and on about how sick and contagious your kid might be, don’t be offended if you bring her in and I treat her like a leper!