Today we set off to explore the lovely city of Malmö. We chose to CouchSurf here because of its proximity to Kristianstad, the town from whence Andy’s ancestors came. I won’t pretend that I’d heard of Malmö prior to this trip, but I’m glad we ended up going here - it wasn’t exactly warm per se, but the weather was tolerably beautiful, and I think we were in more or less the warmest part of Sweden.

Before we set off for the city, however, we had to jump over a number of language barriers. Our host was having some work done on his attic, so he let us know that some carpenters might be knocking on the door to use our sink or borrow some things. Shortly after we woke, someone knocked at the door; Elijah answered it, while Andy and I gathered our things together in our makeshift bedroom. We overheard the following conversation:

Swedish carpenter: *something incomprehensible to us*

Elijah (flustered): “I, uh, I’m sorry - I don’t speak Spanish!”

Swedish carpenter: ¿Es verdad? Ay, lo siento…

Then Elijah says he got even more flustered and switched to some strange pidgin of English and German. Meanwhile, Andy and I were helpfully laughing hysterically.

I was to get some comeuppance later, when we were at a nearby mall searching for an electronics store (Andy had not packed a battery charger for his video camera, and thus began the epic quest for a European one). I attempted to withdraw some money from an ATM, which never posed much of a problem on the continent. Every ATM we passed here snubbed my card, and I worried that it would get eaten by ATM trolls eventually. The line at the mall ATM disappeared, so I thought I’d try it. I mashed some buttons, attempting to see the screen in English, when a woman in line behind me barked (borked) at me. I turned and looked at her with this deer in the headlights look, thinking, “how do you say ‘I can’t speak Swedish?’ again?” (According to Elijah, you say “I’m sorry, I can’t speak Spanish” ;)) Instead of attempting to say something, I grabbed my check card and ran like a rude person. In retrospect, saying something in English would have been about a billion times more polite (or even saying “I’m an American tourist!”, but I wasn’t thinking. Oh well.

We explored quite a bit of the city, due to being lost (even with Kate in our possession). Here are a billion photos because I know you’d rather look at pretty pictures than read my blather!

Is this one of Andy’s ancestors? Don’t quite see the resemblance.

Yep, we’re lost.

A cock in a bush! No I’m not above juvenile humor!

Greedy ducks and geese that kind of came up and mobbed us. Like a fraidy cat I ran away while the boys were having a good time. They don’t know the dark hearts that lurk in birds.

Andy’s on the epic quest for his relatives in the land of the elves.

Another pretty lake in Malmö.

Is Sweden really real? I was there and all, but I still can’t make up my mind.

Fly away, modernist unicorn!

In front of the Malmö house, surrounded by probably what is the least effective moat ever. I don’t think it would even deter invading ducks.

The Malmö house.

At a beautiful dog park by the coast, now dubbed "Dog Heaven" - due to its idyllic features for dogs, not because there were dead dogs there. It had big open spaces for dogs to run around in, obstacle courses, and of course, access to water.

This crazy building here is called the Turning Torso.

Closeup of the Torso. It made me dizzy standing so close to it!

The Oresund Bridge, one of the longest and most expensive bridges in the world. You can drive over it, or if you like, lean over the rail and throw euros into the open sea.

Pretty lego block looking buildings in front of the Turning Torso (yes, I know lego blocks are actually Danish).

Elijah van Winkle wakes up and discovers himself in a land of blonde people, rigid lines and primary colors.

This area was such a photographer’s dream. I’m sad I didn’t get better photos, but I’m no expert!

Can one actually go inside Outside?

We found Noah’s Ark…en! It’s in a little park near where we stayed.

In Sweden there are oversized bunnies and piglets who live amongst the elves.

The homestead Ol’ Gnomy McGnomester and his pet piggies.

Possibly a level in Super Mario.

That’s it for Malmö. Stay tuned for smaller towns in Sweden, and Copenhagen, in the next entry!