I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold
William Carlos Williams, 1962

In the latest installment of This American Life, available for download here, commentators discuss this poem by William Carlos Williams. I remember studying it in poetry class, in the context of the discussion “is this poetry?” but not much about the content itself (though every time I read it, it makes me lust for a delicious ice cold plum. Mmm). The theme of this TAL’s episode is half-hearted apologies, and the commentator talks about the decidedly unrepentant attitude of the poem’s speaker. Then contributors offer their own parodies of the poem. Here are some good ones, written by Kenneth Koch:

1
I chopped down the house that you had been saving to live in next summer.
I am sorry, but it was morning, and I had nothing to do
and its wooden beams were so inviting.

2
We laughed at the hollyhocks together
and then I sprayed them with lye.
Forgive me. I simply do not know what I am doing.

3
I gave away the money that you had been saving to live on for the next ten years.
The man who asked for it was shabby
and the firm March wind on the porch was so juicy and cold.

4
Last evening we went dancing and I broke your leg.
Forgive me. I was clumsy and
I wanted you here in the wards, where I am the doctor!
Kenneth Koch

There are even Harry Potter themed contributions. Here are some funny ones on the comments section of this post for inspiration. I thought it would be fun to jump on the bandwagon, so here are my lame attempts:

1.
This is just to say
I have stomped on the heart
freely given to me

Forgive me
but it was so soft
so squishy
and I had several to spare

2.
I am calling in sick today.
I know you want me to finish these reports
but, your wife’s bed is so warm

3.
I have shit in the Cheerios.
I am sorry,
but you ate my Cocoa Puffs for the last time

4.
I have eaten
the last plum on earth.
Forgive me,
but it was
radioactive anyway

Feel free to comment with some of your own!

So earlier, when I sat down to plod some more on my thesis, I checked my email and got a notice: my submission has been accepted for the upcoming issue of Spring Formal, a magazine put out through the Kansas City Art Institute. Yay! More details (probably) forthcoming later. In the meantime -